Love Grows
by 0Bloodmoon0
Summary: When does a crush begin? It's undefined; it happens slowly; so slowly you don't even realize it until you're forced to admit it. And even then you won't admit to it. Spencer and Emily might. Spemily. Love grows.
1. A New Beginning

Emily Fields made her way to Hanna's house. Her best friend lived around the corner in a cozy flat that was always open for visiting. The comfort she provided Emily kept the girl on her feet. She knocked on the door and was about to let herself in when the door opened.

"Oh! Hey Caleb" she took a shocked step back. "I didn't know you were here..."

"Hey, what's up?" He cheered. "Hanna and I were just having a lazy day." He smiled at her and stepped to the side. "Come in."

Emily was really happy that her friend finally found a genuine and caring guy. The two had been together for four years and she wondered when they would tie the knot. She walked into the family room and spotted Hanna curled up on the couch under a blanket.

"Hey Em! Whats up?"

"I just needed, um...a distraction" She looked at her shoes. Hanna craned her neck and yelled to Caleb to grab some beers.

"I just bought some Oreos and I have chips and ice cream. We were just about to watch a movie." She smiled at her friend knowingly and patted the spot next to her on the couch. Emily took a seat and borrowed some blanket, before whispering thanks. She could use a good night of drunken forgetting. Caleb popped a bottle for each of the girls before sitting down with his own beer.

"Start her off with two." Hanna chuckled gesturing to Emily. Emily smiled at her friend. This was just one of the many reasons they were best friends.

* * *

><p>Aria sat down in The Brew next to her friend. She ordered herself a coffee and glanced over her menu.<p>

"So hows the planning going?"

Spencer smiled looking up from her black coffee.

"It's amazing!" She gushed. Just thinking about her future sent her to high places. She finally found the guy she would spend her life with. She dedicated her future to him and planned on living the dream life she knew she deserved. "Toby has been busy lately at the shop but we are moving forward with the process."

Aria smiled at her. Ever since she met her, Spencer had been infatuated with her now fiancee. The two seemed like a perfect fit.

"So once this all plays out you have to help me with my own love life" Spencer laughed at her. The poor girl had a few short failed flings, but couldn't settle down with someone.

"You have time hun, you're only twenty-two" She assured her.

"Time? You're only a year older than me! You've known Toby for two years now and so I have every right to be settling down at my age!" Aria argued.

"Your time will come. I promise." She smiled as she saw Arias shoulders relax. She considered herself lucky to begin her future at such an early age. While she felt bad for Aria, she knew her guy would come soon. Aria was a free spirit and any guy who appreciated class would love her.

Aria noticed Spencer still smiling and it made herself smile. Spencer was always happy nowadays. Her life was going perfect: She was on her way to being a successful lawyer, she lived in her flashy apartment with her future husband, she was nothing but happy, and hey, Toby was hot.

"Why don't we go to a bar?" Aria snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Spencer. "I mean, you could pick up a guy and try again." She laughed at her friends determination.

"Thanks Spence, but thats not exactly my idea of finding Prince Charming."

"Well I want to go anyways, so you're going." Spencer smirked at her chivalry. No was never an answer she accepted (unless it was in response to something bad of course).

"Im not free tonight...tomorrow?" Spencer just laughed at how easily she got Arias approval. Again, not like she had a choice.

* * *

><p>Emily woke up to a noise making her head throb. She glanced at her ringing phone.<p>

"Hello" She asked groggily.

"Hey! Did I wake you up?"

"Toby? Don't worry about it; it's late isn't it?"

"It's pushing eleven. I was wondering if you wanted to catch up, I have some good news." He said in a chipper mood.

"Ok, how about brunch at noon?" She got off the phone and looked at Hanna, who was still sleeping. She hadn't talked to Toby in almost two years; they were always good friends but college and jobs got in the way. The smell of coffee brought her to her senses and she went to the kitchen to find Caleb with some fresh grounds and waffles in the toaster.

"Mornin'" He chuckled at the sight before him. Emily was visibly hung over. Her hair spewed in every direction complimenting her messy, sweaty attire. She squinted her eyes and you could almost see her head pulsing.

"Head hurt, huh?"

"That sun is damn bright" She muttered grabbing her head. "Give me some of that" She reached for the coffee.

After she downed two cups and ate some yogurt, she showed herself the shower. She mentioned to Caleb that she had brunch plans and to just tell Hanna she would call her later. Once she was presentable enough, she thanked Caleb and left.

"Ugh" Her dash informed her that she was already fifteen minutes late. This was not a good morning. She tried to drown the thumping in her head, opening her window to get some air in her face. She definitely drank way too much the night before.

Her pain was slow to leave; it haunted her. Some nights she just needed to get away from it all and getting drunk with Hanna was the prime way to accomplish that. She was being swallowed whole by her misery and pity wasn't even a word to describe it. Her heart was shattered beyond repair. So, naturally, she decided to give up on love.

* * *

><p>Bars were not exactly Spencer's scene. She knew her friend well enough to know that drinking and dancing with single bachelors was a good pick-me-up; especially when it came to depression about love. An ego boost, combined of alcohol and guys ogling, was necessary from time to time. Aria usually found at least one guy to stick around with, however he was never Prince Charming. She had trouble keeping a guy and falling in love. She lived a guarded life due to this. Spencer knew this all to well; she understood her friends ordeal and felt bad for her<strong>.<strong> She was aware of the affects that these things had on the shorter girl. Spencer herself was not much of a drinker and didn't dance a lot. She did tend to have trouble keeping guys off her, but now she had a ring to dismiss any swooners.

**AN: So i'm excited to finally debut this! I have a lot of it planned out already, so hopefully it will be regularly updated(Ill try my best). Let me know what you think:) I take any and all suggestions with consideration. This IS a spemily story. All mistakes are mine(sorry about it). Also, reviews are my motivation;) Thank you! **


	2. Recovery

Emily strolled in to The Brew and spotted Toby at a corner table. He looked full of energy and contained excitement, and surprisingly even more fit than the last time she saw him, if that was even possible. She gave him a brief smile, letting him know she was there. He had two drinks in front of him, and sure enough the one was her favorite, just like he knew.

Toby was the kind of friend every person deserved; he was sweet, trustworthy, brave, strong, and most importantly non-judgmental. You could go to him for anything without having to be fully committed, like a best friend. Good friends, yes. Best friends, not exactly. She didn't spend enough time with him to call him that, and yet she could still go to him. It was best friends without the commitment.

"Hi Em! Glad you made it." He glanced at his watch. "You're drink might be a little cold."

"I am so sorry about that, I just had a rough morning." Emily sat down, with her sunglasses still on and a complimentary beanie. Toby eyed her up and down and frowned, before shrugging it off.

"So how have you been? Still working at the library?"

"Yea; I'm still at the library. I'm taking up an assistant coaching job."

"Thats good. Swimming?"

"Yes it's with the high school team. I'm a little nervous though" She admitted, twiddling her thumbs.

"Don't be; your amazing." He smiled again. "Are you still with-"

"No." Emily cut him off, flinching at the mere thought. The old pain still all too fresh. The pain of having loved and lost was the equivalent to open heart surgery minus the anesthetics, and it never ended. Only Hanna could see behind the mask and see how broken she actually was. Hanna said it was just that, open heart surgery. Work was being done to her heart, and she was going to recover. It hurt like hell, but she would live, after some patching up.

"So what is this great news you have?" She successfully took the attention off her.

"Are you hungover?" He blurted. His answer was received through a guilty look.

"I was kinda hoping to deliver this news under the best conditions...but oh well, I guess." He looked at her and bit his lip, trying to hide his excitement and show his disappointment in her. He took a deep breath and did his best to speak fluently.

"I'm getting married" His smile couldn't hide any longer. Emily raised her eyebrows. After a moment she spoke.

"Who is the lucky girl?"

"Remeber that girl I was just starting to go out with the last time we hung out?" He received a nod.

"It's her."

"Well, congrats!" _She must be a real winner._ A tidal wave of mixed feelings plunged at her. Here she is with a shattered heart and her long time friend, though distant, is getting married. Getting married to a girl she's never met, nonetheless. She wonders if her smile matches her sincerity. Yes, she's thrilled for him, but her self pity was on the rise.

* * *

><p>Emily scooted into the library; late to work again. She breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing that it went unnoticed; again. Who knows how many more times she will get away with such tardiness, but her managers understand that she has other obligations. On the outside she was strong, focused, and prepared; but on the inside she was broken, hollow, and caught in a whirlwind.<p>

She had told them she was looking for a job, one that she could call her career. Being only recently graduated, she struggled with it. She had bills to pay and things to do, and the heart break surgery repair was taking its toll on her. Life sucks.

The little bell rang and she glanced up to see a group of teenagers walk in. She smiled and reminded them to keep their voices down.

Pulling up her email, she got lost in her life. _Junk mail, junk mail, junk mail, oh!, something important, junk mail..._

Her mind wandered. Toby deserved the life he has; she truly was happy for him. But why not her? When will she dig herself out of this ditch. Ditch? More like endless black hole.

_*knock knock*_

She glanced up to a not so humble older gentleman. His eyebrows were raised, a fiery expression in his eyes, and he croaked,

"Excuse me, I thought you worked here."

"I"m so sorry sir...is this all?" She picked up his book and flipped to the inside cover. She glanced back up at him, one eyebrow raised, for confirmation. She flashed a soft, apologetic smile and waved him farewell. He instantly gleamed at the young boy who held the door open.

"Thank you, lad!"

Toby let the girl with him in first, giving the gentleman a small nod and a broad smile.

_Of course, Toby...such a gentleman, how could someone not smile in his direction? Dammit, Toby. Stop being perfect..._

She turned her attention to the girl he was with. _That must be her. Wow she is short. She's half the size of him. Thats gonna be an awkward dance at the wedding..._

When they made eye contact, Emily waved him over.

"Hey! Look at you, all smiles" She chimed and looked to the girl. She gave him the old slight eyebrow raise and eye-jerk in her direction.

"Whats up? This is Aria; She's a friend." Aria extended her hand to meet Emily's.

"Nice to meet you" So maybe it won't be an awkward dance at the wedding after all.

"I've heard all about you; Toby over here surely knows how to pick friends" Aria jabbed her thumb in his direction. He politely dismissed himself to find a book, leaving the two girls alone.

"So is that a compliment for me? Or are you suggesting that you are amazing." Emily jokingly drawled out that last word. Aria laughed and asked Emily how the two met. She nodded and chuckled at the tale.

"And you?" Emily returned the question.

"Im besties with his future wife. You know, we should hang out sometime; being that we will be seeing a lot of each other in the coming months. Maybe we can coordinate on a wedding gift for them." She gave her warmest smile, inviting Emily in.

"Yea, that would be cool" She grinned. Toby returned with a how-to book in hand, a determined look on his face. Once checked out, they said their good-byes and parted. Emily now had Arias number and made a mental note to call her that weekend.

* * *

><p>After her seemingly long day, Emily headed back to Hanna's house. Basically, it was her house too. No one was home to greet her, so she just hopped in a quick shower, curled up on the couch in borrowed clothing, and put on the food network.<p>

Almost two hours later, she woke up to yelling. She could here Hanna on the phone in the kitchen, arguing over work related things. She waited for her to hang up before going into the kitchen.

"Hey, everything ok?"

"People should really learn to just do what they're told" Hanna grunted. She opened the fridge and handed Emily a beer.

"No, thanks. I already had one" She gestured towards the empty bottle on the counter. "So guess what? Toby is getting married." She glanced at the beer. Maybe just one more...

"Really? Good for him! Do you know the girl?"

"No, I haven't met her yet. I did meet her best friend though. We are gonna get together this weekend. You should come." She casually sipped from her cold bottle and shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't want to intrude..."

"Please, it's no big deal. I think the two of you would get along." Hanna just brushed it off and said maybe. She didn't know Toby, so she wasn't a part of any of this. Getting in the middle wasn't really her thing anymore.

**AN: Hey, so i hope you guys are enjoying it so far. Im taking it slow, and these first few chapters are gonna be a lil' crappy. I apologize. Once i start getting into the story, the chapters will be longer and more in depth. Also, Im thinking Spencer will be in first person and ill keep Emily in 3rd. Thoughts?**


	3. The Meeting

**AN: Hey! Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate every single one of them. I've decided that I will keep both Emily and Spencer in 3rd person(using_ he/she_ pronouns rather than 'I'). Also, I don't have a schedule for updating, but you can expect at least one new chapter a week. Lastly, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in this one; I'm on vacation and I'm super tired right now lol.**

"Hanna! Wake up!" Emily sighed as Hanna rolled over and mumbled into her pillow. She reached under and grabbed the blankets, yanking them unsuccessfully.

"Ugh!" She went to her last resort. Hanna was a stubborn sleeper. She went into the bathroom and wet a rag. Dripping, she swiftly walked over to the bed and held it above Hanna's head and let droplets trickle down her neck. Hanna jumped out of bed instantly and wiped a hand across the back of her neck. She glared at Emily.

"We need to go. Aria is going to be waiting." Emily said sternly. Hanna was being dragged against her will and Emily wasn't putting up with her scowl.

"Isn't this supposed to be about the wedding? I'm not a part of that. Does this Aria know I'm coming? It's not my place; I don't know the bride or the groom." Hanna complained.

"I don't know the bride either."

"You know Toby, and he's your best friend."

"You're my best friend, and that's why you are going to be there for me. You're coming." Emily's word was final; she was determined. They made their way to the car and headed towards the cafe.

Emily held open the door for Hanna, who was lagging, while she looked for Aria. After several long seconds, her eyes fell on a short girl sipping tea in the corner of the cafe. She smiled to herself and strolled over with Hanna in tow.

"Aria? Hi," she flashed a warm grin, "This is Hanna." She pointed behind her.

"Hi!" Aria swallowed her tea and motioned for them to sit down. She turned her attention to Hanna. "You must be Hanna, right?" She received a nod. They discussed the weeks happenings and made small talk. Hanna flagged down a waitress and asked for coffee and a bagel.

"Split it with me?" She asked Emily. All of a sudden Emily's stomach growled and she realized she hadn't eaten yet that morning.

"Sure." She agreed.

Aria took the last sip of her tea and felt ready to get down to business.

"So I was hoping you could really help me out with Toby's gift. I already got the two of them Rosenthal mini porcelain vases, but I want to get each of them individual gifts as well. Me and you can combine forces and do the individual gifts together." She looked at Emily hopefully. Shopping for Toby would be hard for her. While she was friends with him, she didn't spend that much time with him and didn't know him too well.

"Honestly, at this point I think you know him better." Emily confessed.

"Please, I can't do it all by myself. He doesn't have many friends." Aria begged. Emily sighed and glanced over to Hanna who had her face stuffed with a cream cheese bagel.

"I'll try."

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere. After a moment, Emily remembered the other half of the deal.

"The girl is all you though." She gazed at Aria.

"Oh no, this is a package deal." Aria countered. "We have to work together for both."

"I don't even know her.."

"Well how about we do this again and I'll invite her?" They agreed and she added, "Don't go by first impression; she may seem a little uptight at first. I mean, she is. But it's not that bad." Aria rambled.

"Oh great, so she has a stick up her ass...oof" Hanna mumbled, receiving an elbow from Emily. They parted ways and headed back to their cars. Emily fumbled with her keys while Hanna waited impatiently.

"Wow you are grouchy today." Emily murmured once they got in.

"Just irritable" She responded. "So this girl...she sounds delightful."

"Well she's marrying Toby, so she has to be decent." Emily watched pedestrians walk past while she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel at a light.

"What's her name again?"

"I don't know yet" Emily looked over at Hanna and furrowed her brow.

"Weird." Hanna commented.

* * *

><p>"So Aria called me this morning" Spencer started. Toby raised his eyebrows in question while he sipped on his coffee.<p>

"She asked me to go out and meet your friend...Emily? Her friend, Hanna, is coming too."

"Oh!" Toby brightened at the thought. "She's awesome; you'll have fun."

"What's she like?" He laughed at her uncertainty.

"Emily is great, you'll like her. We've been friends since high school; we met in detention" Toby recalled the memory.

"Detention? Should I be worried?" Spencer criticized.

"No, not at all" He chuckled. "You know I was in detention too, and here you are spending your life with me."

"But what for? Something bad?"

"I was there for worse reasons, no need to worry."

"What for?" Spencer repeated, getting antsy.

"I picked a fight and she showed up late too many times."

"Distasteful." Spencer commented. Toby laughed harder.

"Me fighting or her showing up late?"

"Both. Fighting is never good, but disrespecting school and your education is awful. Is she dumb? Oh, god, should I be worried" Spencer panicked. Smart was her name; She felt that education was highly important and hated people who didn't care at all about it. They were simply distasteful. "I can't work with her if I'm talking to a monkey." Toby laughed even more. She's so cute when she gets like this.

"Shes smarter than me Spence, no need to worry" He reassured her. "And as for Hanna, I don't know her well, but she is Emily's best friend so I'm sure she is great too." He knew Spencer would love Emily, just like everyone loved her. She was a very like-able person. He had thought it was crazy that such a pretty, nice girl like her would end up in detention, and after he befriended her he tried to be more than friends, but he found out she was gay and so it didn't really work out. It had made them closer; sure he was hurt, but he was understanding and didn't blame her for it.

Spencer's phone started ringing and she excused herself to answer it.

"Hi, mom?" She went over the usual drill: How are you, what's going on, hows the planning going, etc. She got lost in telling the details of the venue she picked, and didn't realize Toby came up behind her and silently wrapped his arms around her waist.  
><em>What's going on?<em> Toby heard through the phone. Spencer couldn't hold in her giggles and she was fidgeting to get away from his tickles. He let her go and she finished discussing news with her mom.

"Is Melissa back in town? I need to speak with her."

"Yes," Her mother replied, "She just got in the other day, but she's busy right now..I just called her."

"Ok, next time you talk to her tell her that I need to speak with her."

Mrs. Hastings agreed and then excused herself to finish up her paperwork. Spencer glanced at Toby with a sigh. While she was super excited to get married, she was mentally exhausted by it. Working with her family wasn't easy for her; they weren't close to each other and there was more competition than you see at the olympics. Unfortunately, her sister was pissed that she was getting married first. _Be careful, just because you have a ring doesn't mean that it's actually gonna happen,_ her sister had warned her. She glanced down at her watch; this time tomorrow she will be meeting Emily and her friend Hanna.


	4. Coffee for the Soul

**AN: Hey guys! First off, I'm gonna apologize that this is super short. Post vacation is rough; I don't have much spare time and i wanted to get this out to you. Good news is I should get another chapter posted before the weekend is over! This chapter sets me up for the rest of the story and we will start surging forward from here;)**

**Next thing: This story is rated M for a reason. I don't like putting a warning in the an because it takes away from the story; i hate spoilers. So if you would like a warning pm me and I'll send you a pm right after i upload the chapter. We still have a ways to go though..i just like it to be unexpected. **

**Lastly: Tell me what you think. Is it confusing?As of right now, I'm only doing a once over after writing to fix big mistakes because i'm short on time, so it might not make sense haha. Also, what do you want to see happen? I take all suggestions with serious thought:)**

**Anywho, enjoy! :P**

Emily cringed at the sound of Hanna yelling up to her.

"Em! You're going to be late for your play-date" She mocked. Puffing, Emily argued right back. She wasn't in the mood to go meet Arias friend, a.k.a. Toby's fiancé. In fact, she was rather nervous, and Hanna's teasing wasn't helping at all. She bit her nail trying to find something to wear. She picked out casual blue jeans and a sweater and trudged down the stairs.

"You're coming." She declared. Hanna wined and put on her puppy face. She received a glare and sighed, picked up the car keys and got in the car.

* * *

><p>Spencer pulled into the coffee shop parking lot right next to Arias car. She glanced over and saw her fiddling with her phone, still in her car. She got out and let herself into Arias passenger seat.<p>

"Ready?" She asked Aria. She raised an eyebrow and looked around the parking lot. "Do you know if they're here?"

Aria took a look at the surrounding cars. She settled on a black civic.

"I think that's hers" She nodded in its direction. They got out and briskly walked through the shops doors. They each ordered a coffee and Aria searched for Emily and Hanna. Upon seeing them, she hooked her arm in Spencer's and led her over to the corner table.

Spencer looked between Emily and Hanna and gave a soft smile. Which one is which? She focused on the brunette. She had on a soft pink sweater that complimented her deep olive skin, and it popped against her raven hair. The girl smirked, and Spencer blinked before introducing herself. She sat across from Emily and looked at Hanna. She was pretty, but not as striking as the brunette.

"I'm Emily" Emily smiled and held her hand out to Spencer. "Congrats on getting engaged."

The corners of Spencer's mouth curled up.

"Thank you!" She gushed. The thought of getting married always made her giddy. "And it's nice to meet you, Toby has talked a lot about you."

Emily raised her eyebrows slightly, and decided to ignore the statement. She looked over at Hanna and nudged her. "This is Hanna". Hanna offered her hand.

Emily took a moment to take Spencer in. She seems nice, not so uptight as Aria had said. She was tall, around the same height as herself. Her chestnut brown hair was thin as were her lips. She noticed how she could seem tough if she tightened her lips and furrowed her 'brows together. Dark eyes looked right back at her, almost skeptical, like she was inspecting Emily as well. She could see how Toby was attracted to her.

"So what do you do?"

Spencer looked down at her coffee and replied, "I am currently studying law. My parents are both in the business and I'm gaining experience with them."

Hanna didn't need much to be impressed; Spencer fit the image of a lawyer. She picked at her nails when Emily started talking again.

"Wow, should I be careful?" She joked.

"I may need a lawyer at some point, so I consider this a blessing." Hanna nodded at Spencer. "Study-up, girl." She smirked and shared a laugh with the girls.

"What do you two do?" Spencer exchanged glances between Emily and Hanna.

"I'm working part-time at the library, and I help coach swimming; but, I don't really know what I want to do with the rest of my life." Her voice hinted that she lacked confidence.

"What did you study?" Spencer poked.

"Business." Spencer nodded and pushed her mouth to one side of her face, thinking. Emily chuckled at her and returned the attention to Hanna.

"Oh, I'm waitressing right now, but I hope to get into sales." She studied Emily, she seemed a little uneasy. Emily caught her stare and gave a reassuring smile.

The four of them talked for an hour before Spencer stood up.

"I'm sorry, but I have to get going." She placed a hand on Emily's shoulder and looked at Hanna. "It was nice meeting the both of you. We need to do this again, I feel like I still don't know you." She quickly kissed Arias head and walked out, waving her hand on the way.

"I guess it's that time, I'll be heading out as well."

"Oh no you won't, not without me!" Hanna protested. "I still have coffee left.

"Chug it" Emily laughed.

"See you guys later, call me." Aria held her hand up to her ear as a fake phone.


	5. Darkest of Her Days

The water was calmer than usual, the wind had died down and left the evening warm. Spencer kicked a pebble as she watched the ducks to her left. Her hands rested in her pockets comfortably while she hummed.

Emily watched her out of the corner of her eye. They walked through the park peacefully; it wasn't crowded at this time, most people were eating dinner. Spencer's humming was soothing, mixing gracefully with the birds song.

Spencer noticed Emily watching her and smiled warmly.

"Like it?" Emily blushed and looked away sheepishly.

"This is my favorite season" Spencer glanced around. It was early Spring. She loved the way the leaves on the trees hung downward when they were wet. They flashed a brilliant green, making the forest appear more dense than it really was. The smell of new flowers was heavy in the air, making the girls high on life. Peering at Emily once more, Spencer could tell she was depressed underneath her exterior.

"Whats plaguing you?"

Blood rushed to Emily's cheeks again. Up until now, Hanna was the only one who could tell she was hurting.

"It's nothing." She covered up, not making eye contact. She could feel Spencer's eyes studying her.

"It's not nothing. Tell me. How else will I get to know you. And help."

"I'm just getting over a recent breakup."

Spencer looked to the ground. "Oh, I'm sorry. Want to talk about it?"

Emily was ready to say no, but one look at Spencer's encouraging eyes, and she gave in.

"Well, it's not really recent...its been a year." Spencer raised her eyebrows in disbelief, but encouraged her to go on. Emily was uncomfortable, and having to say it out loud hurt terribly.

"I guess you could say she was my high school sweetheart." Her voice wavered. "We were together for almost six years."

"What happened?" Spencer urged.

"Well, a lot of things, I guess. She was a lot of things. There were things I loved about her." Emily rambled. She paused to gather her thoughts that got loose. Her emotions were about to jump off a cliff. Spencer waited patiently, letting her take her time.

"She was flirtatious." Emily looked down sullenly. "It was something I could deal with; I trusted her. But, she started to take me for granted. Her behavior was getting ridiculous and it got harder to forgive and forget." She stopped again and swallowed loudly. Her throat was incredibly dry and her eyes were hot.

"But I loved her, it was undeniable. My breaking point came when she made it clear she disliked my family and friends. That was unforgivable." A sob finally escaped her lips. "So I broke it off." Spencer lightly placed a hand on her arm, and gave her time to recover.

"Want to hear a funny story?" Emily forced a smile. Spencer cleared her throat while recalling the memory.

"My parents a really irresponsible." She chuckled. She looked back over to the water and steadied her breathing. "We were at this big party. We weren't celebrating anything, that's just what we do. Party just because." She noticed Emily's lips curl ever so slightly, and hurried on with the story, determined to make her laugh.

"So, one of the genius adults thought it a great idea to pour an entire bottle of vodka in the pineapple bowl. I was only four, and a picky eater. Now, pineapple wasn't just my favorite fruit...it was my favorite freaking food." She couldn't help her grin. "And they wondered '_Why is she passed out? It's only six_.'" Both Emily and Spencer laughed hard until their stomachs hurt.

"So, that was the first time I ever got insanely drunk, at the ripe age of four. And the whole country club knows it."

Emily was struggling to control her laughter. "That's not good! My god, you could've had severe damage."

"But I didn't." Spencer smirked triumphantly. "Otherwise it wouldn't be so funny!" They fell silent as they walked on. The birds slowly became quiet as it got late.

"Thanks." Emily said sincerely. Spencer nodded.

Maybe Spencer could guide her through her darkest of days.

They found a little clearing far from the traveled area of the park. It reminded Spencer of her lake house. The grass seemed greener, less walked on. Fresh. The smell of fresh pine enveloped them. A couple blue, yellow, and purple flowers skirted the edges. The sound of crickets bounced around. She nudged Emily and told her about her parents lovely get-away cabin.

"You should come with me sometime. Invite Hanna, too."

"That would be so much fun!" She had forgotten entirely about her ex.

Spencer felt warm all over. Emily was so different from what she imagined. She could see the start of a fine friendship. Silently, she thanked Aria.

"We should get back."

* * *

><p>Emily sighed as she got out of the shower. The thoughts of her high school sweetheart came flooding back. Not another lonely night. Where's Hanna?<p>

In under an hour, Hanna was knocking on Emily's door. She hugged Emily tightly when she finally opened the door.

"You okay?" She felt Emily nod on her shoulder. "Gee, you're hair smells terrific!" Emily choked a laugh.

"Did you go out with Spencer today?"

"Yes, it was actually a lot of fun." Hanna raised her eyebrows.

"She invited the both of us to her family's lake-house." Emily recalled the conversation she had had. She broke out a smile and shared the details of Spencer's lake-house property. It was secluded and had a wonderful view of the lake. There were no other properties around the south end of the lake, and there were no motor boats allowed, ensuring a quiet and peaceful vacation. The smell of pine was everywhere. There were four bedrooms, all on one floor. It had a huge floor to ceiling fire place. Spencer's favorite time to go was in the fall; They practically had the lake to themselves at that time of year. The only problem was fighting over its occupancy with her sister, Melissa.

Hanna fell in love with the idea. "How relaxing! That would be an awesome girls only weekend!"

They made tea, vowing to slow down on the alcohol, and slipped a movie into Emily's DVD player. Twenty minutes in Emily was sound asleep in Hanna's lap. Hanna ran her fingers through her long dark hair and smiled; It was finally getting easier for Emily.

* * *

><p>Spencer stopped by Aria's house.<p>

"Hi there! How was the park?"

"Wonderful. I had a great time." It had been a while since Spencer had caught a fresh breath of air. Spending time with Emily was all she needed. However, her stress bounced right back once it was over.

"I'm supposed to handle this case tomorrow and I don't think I'm ready." She confessed.

"Aw, darling, you'll be fine. You're badass."

She smiled sheepishly, "Thanks, it's just so stressful...I'm breaking out!" She pointed to her cheek and frowned. "And with the planning, I have too much on my plate." The days were getting shorter with each passing. Her mom had been putting a ton of pressure on her and she expected her to be just as successful, starting in her early years.

"It's not all shits and giggles." Aria noted. With that, Spencer giggled. "What?" Aria mused.

"Nothing, it's just that Toby likes that saying. 'It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits'." She imitated his didactic tone. They chuckled together.

"He sure has a way with words." Spencer relaxed her tense shoulders and sighed. She poured herself a glass of wine and joined Aria in the living room. It was the best place to let go. Aria always had incense burning in that room, coupled with wine it was pure solace. Her head cleared and she remembered what she had told Emily.

"You know, I invited Emily and Hanna to my lake-house. You should come to."

"Is that even a question? To think you felt the need to invite me!" Aria threw her hand over her chest and faked disdain. Spencer rolled her eyes and ran her hand through her hair. She closed her eyes and began to hum. The smell of pine invaded her thoughts. She couldn't wait for this lake-house trip; it couldn't come soon enough. She just needed to decide on a date that would work for everyone. Aria smiled to herself, listening contently to Spencer's version of Winter Song. Getting the four of them together was one of the best things she had done.

**AN: As promised;). And that story about the pineapple is mine: I am the Spencer of that story. Epic parenting fail! lol. Tell me what you think:)**


	6. Undefined

Emily cautiously watched from the sideline. Nobody noticed her amidst the chaos. People were running back and forth frantically waving their hands. Emily heard nothing; it was like a silent film. To her left she saw Toby. He was hurriedly talking to a few other guys who were dressed like him. His jaw was clenched. In front of her several people were unfolding chairs and setting them up in rows.

Emily turned around and gasped. Spencer stood tall in an elegant gown, letting her chestnut hair roll over her shoulder in loose curls. Emily's jaw dropped. Her eyes roamed greedily over her friends body. She unconsciously licked her lips, which had gone dry in a matter of seconds. She attempted to say something but nothing escaped her lips. She saw Spencer's mouth move but heard no sound.

Emily woke up. Her heart pounded in her chest and she closed her eyes, remembering the dream.

* * *

><p>"What do you think about jazz music?" Spencer asked absentmindedly.<p>

Emily blinked hard, bringing herself out of her daze. She had been following Spencer around the mall pretending to listen, avoiding questions. She couldn't get her mind off of her dream. How could she think something like that? She was marrying Toby, it was an awful thought. She was letting herself fall into a place she shouldn't be.

"It's classy."

"That's what I thought. It would be fun to have a group play live at the wedding."

Emily's feet got heavier as they walked. She shouldn't have agreed to come along; She loved being around Spencer and she wanted to get to know her better, but having the wedding thrown in her face like this was torture. It was just lust. Right?

"Hey, look at that." Spencer pointed to a sale sign. "Let's check it out. I wanted to get cheap flip-flops for the wedding so that people can dance in them when their feet get sore in heels." Emily followed her into the store.

Emily concluded that the only reason she was having a hard time with this was because she had just had the dream that morning. Sure, she noticed Spencer was attractive the first time she saw her, but she refused to think of her that way. Until now it hadn't been a problem.

"That's a really smart idea." She breathed. Her eyes grazed Spencer's back while she dug through a bin of shoes. It was lust. She didn't love her.

"Help me out, would ya?" Spencer sent a flip-flop hurdling at Emily's chest. Emily flinched and looked away, but managed to catch it. They both laughed. Emily pointed the shoe at Spencer.

"That was rude." They laughed again. As they rummaged through the deep bin, Emily kept glancing out of the corner of her eye at Spencer. She had picked up an assortment of red, yellow, and blue flip-flops.

"What?" Spencer looked back at Emily. Emily opened her mouth to offer some excuse, but was interrupted by a ringing. She answered her phone.

Spencer watched as Emily's mouth fell ajar. She immediately sensed something was wrong. She reached a hand out to gently touch Emily's arm and felt her muscles go rigid.

"Oh my God, is she alright?...OK...I'll be right over...Ok, bye." Her voice quivered and she swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat.

"My grandma is in the hospital. Sorry, Spencer, I have to go."

"Let me drive you." Spencer grabbed her arm and guided her towards the door.

* * *

><p>Spencer let Emily go and watched her fling her arms around her mom. She saw their brief exchange and smiled softly when Emily turned back to her. She raised her eyebrows in question.<p>

"She fell. Down the stairs. Broke her shoulder, arm and wrist. She's still in with the doctor."

Spencer opened her arms and Emily accepted the warm embrace. She breathed in heavy, letting her tension fade. Spencer slowly rubbed the small of her back.

"Thank you." Emily sighed. Moments later Hanna barged in and pulled Emily into a bear hug.

"Is everything ok? My god, grandma Fields is too young!"

"She will be ok. She fell and broke a few bones." Emily loved how Hanna was accepted into the Fields family; her grandma was Hanna's grandma as well. She smiled broadly at her two friends, new and old. Hanna rubbed Emily's arm to reassure her and calm her nerves.

Mrs. Fields walked over to the three girls.

"Mom, this is Spencer." Spencer held out her hand and smiled.

"You have a lovely daughter. I'm sorry to hear about your mom." She pouted.

"Thank you, dear. Why don't you girls get out of here and have some fun?"

"Thank's, Mrs. F., and I'm sorry about grandma Fields." Mrs. Fields waved Hanna's apology off and smiled.

"It happens, now go on. Go to the mall or something. Grandma would be sad to hear she ruined your day."

* * *

><p>Emily blinked and found herself back in the store with the flip-flops. She chuckled at Spencer's determination. The flip-flops she had previously picked out were still on top. She felt ghost fingers on her back, remembering Spencer's embrace. She could still smell her shampoo. She found herself staring at Spencer again unconsciously.<p>

"Ok, I'm just gonna go pay for these and then we can go wherever you guys want." Emily watched her walk away.

"Ok. What was that?" Hanna's eyes were hard.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please, Emily, I have eyes."

"Well, you're eyes see nothing." They stared at each other for a moment, challenging.

"Look, Em, I'm you're best friend. It's my job to help you recover, and this won't help. She's getting married; this will only hurt you." Hanna was stern, and she decided to add one last remark. "It would be really stupid of you to even acknowledge this."

Emily looked over to see Spencer coming back.

"Quick: where do you want to go?"

"Uhh, I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? You always have somewhere you want to go in the mall!"

"Well be a friend and think of something; I'm having a mind blank!"

Spencer walked up to them and smiled.

"Did you guys pick a place?"

"Let's go get frozen yogurt." Emily suggested. Hanna smiled and gave her a thumbs up. The situation would be locked away and forgotten.

Emily let her mind drift. These feelings couldn't have popped up out of nowhere. They weren't even feelings, she was just attracted to her thats all. There's a difference. But, this is the start of some feelings, isn't it? No. No no no. It's not; definitely not.

When does a crush begin? It's undefined; it happens slowly; so slowly you don't even realize it until you're forced to admit it. And even then you won't admit to it.

Hanna lifted her spoon and licked the last of her yogurt. Spencer was the first finished and sat back, relaxing while she told a story. Emily listened thoughtfully, keeping her eyes on her half-filled yogurt.

"We should go see a movie, huh?" Spencer looked between the two girls.

"I'd love to!" Emily's eyes brightened at the thought. She hadn't been to a movie in a while. Hanna shrugged her shoulders.

"I can't. I have work tonight." She checked her watch. "You guys go on ahead though. Don't enjoy it too much though, ok?" She looked only at Emily.

"Haha, we will save all the fun for when you're with us, Han." Spencer watched as Hanna dismissed herself before cleaning up after Emily and herself.

* * *

><p>"So what's your grandma like?" Spencer felt unsure if the topic was safe, but couldn't think of anything else to say. The previews had only just started for the movie.<p>

"She's...thoughtful." Emily took her time in thinking of the right word. Her grandma was the kind who always wanted to know how you were doing. She always invited you to join her for dinner or to go out. She was smart, and hadn't lost her sanity yet; she new everything that was going on in the new world, and she understood it. She could work a mac for goodness sakes.

Spencer watched the contours of her face. The way her eyebrows creased when she mentioned something serious, the way the corners of her mouth told you everything you needed to know, the way her nose crinkled ever so slightly when she laughed.

When does a crush begin? It's undefined; it happens slowly; so slowly you don't even realize it until you're forced to admit it. And even then you won't admit to it.

"Em..." She hesitated.

She looked into Emily's eyes and saw her own reflection. The air froze.

"Em.."


	7. The Sun Before the Burn

"Em..." She hesitated.

She looked into Emily's eyes and saw her own reflection. The air froze.

"Em.."

"What?"

Spencer debated on what it was that she was actually going to say.

"Umm...nothing, really. I just, I think I'm confused."

"About?"

Spencer gulped. Her throat got tight.

"Never mind. It's nothing."

"Just tell me." Emily was getting more and more confused.

"Don't worry about it. I just can't think straight."

The lights dimmed and Spencer let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. What _was _she going to say?

* * *

><p>Spencer started the car and looked at Emily. Emily was smiling for no good reason, making Spencer struggle to hold back a smile herself. She thought about what Emily had told her a week ago in the park. She was still getting over a breakup. Back then she could tell Emily was hurting, but now, she was like a different girl. Blood colored her cheeks and she laughed, she was alive. Something had changed within the past week. Emily had been getting over her breakup for a year and it was still visible on her face, but now you would never guess she was in pain. Spencer crinkled her eyes in thought.<p>

Emily noticed Spencer's stare but didn't say anything. Her thoughts were flooded and she blushed.

"One time, in my first year of college, I messed around a bit."

Emily raised her eyebrows at Spencer.

"Miss Yale messed around? Really?" Emily smirked. Spencer scoffed.

"Please, Miss Yale? I didn't attend Yale."

"I heard rumor of Ivy League."

"Well I was accepted." Spencer lowered her eyebrows. "but that's besides the point."

"So you were saying?"

"I messed around with a girl once."

Emily finally looked at Spencer. Her heart jumped, and she scolded herself for finding hope. She can't let herself fall deeper. Hanna's words rang in her ears. She glanced down at Spencer's ring.

"We never really dated, but we snuck around for almost a month."

Emily opened her mouth but nothing came out. What could she say to that? She twiddled her thumbs and decided on silence. Spencer looked to her lap, though there was nothing wrong, she felt embarrassed. She put the car in drive and took Emily home.

When Spencer put the car in park, she turned to Emily.

"So I thought about a date for our lake house trip." She smiled when Emily's eyes brightened. "How does three weeks today sound?"

"I'll check, but it should be good. I'll let Hanna know." She got out of the car and waved as Spencer pulled out of the driveway.

* * *

><p>Emily closed her eyes as the whistle blew. It was her first swim meet as the new assistant coach. The team huddled around to hear the coach's pre-game speech. They filed out of the locker room and breathed in the chlorine. It smelled like home. Emily was just as nervous as the swimmers. The coach smiled at her and patted her shoulder.<p>

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Hanna, and not to far away from her stood Toby. She broke out into a smile. She walked over.

"Hey! How'd you know about this?" She couldn't hold back a grin. Toby thrusted a thumb at Hanna.

"She called Aria to see if she wanted to accompany her. Aria called Spencer."

Emily's heart skipped at the thought of Spencer being there. She saw Aria walk out of the bathroom and waited to see if Spencer would come out behind her. She never came.

"Spencer couldn't come; she's at her mother's law firm today working. But, hey," He swatted her shoulder with the back of his hand, "How come you didn't tell me?"

"Oh, I just didn't think you guys would want to watch this. It's not like I'm swimming." Emily smiled at Hanna and Aria.

Emily's hand started to cramp gripping the stopwatch. She stretched and congratulated her swimmers as they got of the water. Her first meet ended in a win, the only thing she could hope for. She excused herself to see Hanna.

"Congrats!" Hanna wrapped her arms around Emily and it felt like they were back in high school and Emily had just won another race. "Wanna go out for a coffee? My treat."

Emily accepted the offer and drove them to The Brew. She picked a window seat to watch the rain just as it started to fall. Hanna ordered two mochas and sat across from Emily.

"So, we need to talk." Emily looked up at those words and felt like a child.

"If I'm not mistaken, I saw your face sadden when Spencer didn't show up. Em, you have to get over it."

"It's not like I can stop feeling!" Emily instantly felt guarded. "Besides, for the first time in a year I'm not drinking myself to sleep. So who cares? This isn't hurting me, it's helping me." Emily stared Hanna down, determined to win this battle too.

"I care! You might feel fine now, but when she say's 'I do', You will drink yourself crazy."

Emily looked down and mumbled, "It's easier to get over what you never had than to get over what felt like your life."

Hanna sighed and placed her hand on top of Emily's. "Sorry, hun."

Emily just shook it off and mentioned Spencer's lake house plans. Hanna pulled out her phone and luckily she was off work that weekend.

Emily watched a drop of water trickle down the window and sighed. For once everything felt ok. Despite her grandma, she had two new friends, a vacation coming up, a talented swim team, and she was over her high school sweetie.

* * *

><p>Spencer took a sip of her tea and tapped her pen. She held a clients folder, trying to come up with possible arguments to discuss with her mom. She glanced at her phone and noticed a text from Toby.<p>

_Em won the meet_

She smiled and made a mental note to call Emily. Then her mind was gone. Emily had that effect. Her smile filled Spencer's head; she knew that Emily would being smiling. She never talked about swimming before, she had to hear from Toby that she was the best in high school. In fact, she really didn't know all that much about her. That would have to change. She thought about their upcoming vacation; she would have to go out there beforehand and make sure everything was orderly. She heard a knock on her door. Her mother peered in.

"Get anywhere?"

Spencer looked down at her notes. She had stopped mid-sentence and couldn't remember what she was going to argue.

"Still working on it."

"Well, hurry it up. Efficiency is key." Her mother closed the door and she sighed. Days like this were going to ruin her. Emily needed to get out of her head.

* * *

><p>Emily was finishing her mocha when her phone rang.<p>

"Mom? What's up?"

_Hi, honey. How'd your meet go?_

"Good, we won." She smiled at Hanna, who smiled back.

_Listen, I'm back at the hospital. Grandma is sick and she isn't healing well. It's not an emergency, so don't worry. They are going to monitor her over night and see how she does._

"Oh my god" Emily's voice filled with dread. "Again? Is she ok?"

_She's fine honey. Everything will be ok, don't worry. She's sleeping right now but you can come visit tonight._

Emily hung up and looked at Hanna. She knew. They threw away their cups and left. As they headed toward the hospital, Emily's phone rang again.

"Spencer? Hi."

"Hey! What's wrong?"

"My grandma is in the hospital again. I'm heading there with Hanna."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just got out of work, I'll stop by."

Emily parked and headed to the third floor. Twenty minutes later, Spencer arrived.

"How is she?"

"She's sleeping, but my grandpop is a little shaky." Spencer pouted.

"I'm sorry." She put her hand on Emily's shoulder and forced a smile. "I forgot to say congrats, on the win." Emily returned the smile and thanked her. She noticed Spencer was wearing glasses., and her heart melted. They were simple. Thin, black frames. They looked amazing on Spencer. They looked right. She couldn't just forget her feelings. Glasses were her biggest weakness.

**AN: Hey! Hope you guys are enjoying the holiday season:) Thank you Shamika for the reviews, and thank you desiree graves, I'm glad you liked it:p**


	8. Third Degree Ice

Toby led Spencer into her room deliberately. Things had heated up quickly and Spencer pushed him onto her bed impatiently. He began placing kisses up and down her neck while his hand trailed up the buttons on her shirt, finding the top-most one and undoing it. He wrapped his arms under her thighs and lifted her up to change positions.

"What?" he smiled at her baffled look.

"You just caught me off-guard" she breathed out. They continued on with heated kisses. Spencer turned her attention to his abs while letting her hands explore his biceps. Sighing in pleasure Toby found the hem of her shirt and slipped his hands under, roaming the brunettes back. His hand fell on her bra clasp and swiftly unclipped it. They pulled apart and Spencer pulled the bra out from under her shirt. He continued on exploring her back while she slowly made her way down his stomach. He brought his attention back to her shirt and felt too impatient to deal with the buttons; he pulled it up over her head. She continued placing open-mouthed kisses down his abs.

Abruptly, she stopped and sat up, breathing heavy and staring down at her uncovered work, biting her lip.

"This isn't fair"

"What are you talking about" Toby sat up on his elbows.

"I...I can't do this" Spencer sobbed out. She received a confused look. "It's not fair to you" she managed to choke out again.

"Whats not fair?" His hand reached up to cup her cheek.

"To do..this, when my mind keeps slipping elsewhere"

"If you're not in the mood thats fine Spence, but you were ripping my clothes off two minutes ago. What happened?" Silence. He furrowed his eyebrows, then his face dropped at a thought. "Are you thinking of someone else?"

His voice was broken and Spencer couldn't look him in the eye. She felt his body tense and a new heat generated by anger rose into the air.

"Jesus..." He sat up fully, pushing her off of him, and stormed towards the door, shirt in hand.

"Wait!" It barely came out as a cry.

"What do you want me to do?" He seethed, turning around.

"I know my feelings for you Toby, I love you" She pleaded, "But I don't know how I feel for someone else. And it's not fair to you."

"You're breaking up with me but you want me to stay? What do you want me to do?"

"I love you" The tears now streaming down her face uncontrollably. "I'm confused"

"So what do you want me to do?!" Toby screamed, "Wait? No. I can't be with you if you are always so unsure of yourself." He spat.

"I'm just trying to be honest.." She shamefully whimpered.

"And I'm trying to leave." With that the door slammed. Spencer felt an unbearable pain in her chest forcing her sobs to be sporadic; she struggled to breath. The only thing she could do was throw her shirt back on and slowly die on her bed. At least she would be clothed when they found her.

* * *

><p>Spencer was sipping her tea when she heard a knock at the door. She beamed when she saw Toby on the other side.<p>

"I'm so glad to see you!" She gushed. He gave a dry laugh.

"I came to gather my things." He said flatly. Spencer looked dumbfounded. After a moment, when his message fully sank in, she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Y-you don't need to do that. We can figure this out." She pleaded.

"Give me the ring."

"W-What?" Tears immediately swelled in her eyes.

"Give me. The ring!" He spat growing impatient, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

"What are you going to do with it?" Her mouth went dry when she thought of the plausible answer. "Give it to someone else?"

Toby laughed when he heard this.

"No, no. This ring was special. It was for someone special. It was for you. It fits your heart." He paused. "It won't fit anyone else's heart; no one has a heart as small as yours." Spencer was now crying silent tears. Seeing that she wasn't going to move anytime soon, Toby let himself in, pushing past Spencer, and started collecting some of his belongings.

"I still love you, and only you, Toby." He ignored her. Her voice allowed her one last try. "I don't love her!" She sobbed, her voice cracking. His eyes bulged at the pronoun.

"Her?" Now he just sounded sick. Nothing mattered to him anymore. There was someone that made their way into Spencer's mind and drove her away from him. And that person wasn't even a guy. Spencer's cell started to ring. They held each others stare. Toby walked over and picked up her phone, swiped the screen accepting the call and handed it to Spencer. She unwillingly took it and stared at him. He pulled the ring off her finger and walked out with a small bag of his stuff. He'd come back when she was at work to get the rest.

"Spencer? ... Spencer!" A voice shouted from the phone. She brought it up to her ear and heard Aria.

"Spencer are you there?!" All she could do was sob, nodding her head as if Aria was standing in front of her.

"Oh my gosh, are you ok? I'll be right over!"

* * *

><p>Aria barged in to find Spencer in the fetal position on her couch, wracking in sobs. She ran over and grabbed Spencer's cheeks in her hands. Her thumb brushed off a few tears before she realized it wouldn't work. She ran her fingers softly through the taller girls hair, pouting at every tear that rolled down her cheek. After an hour Spencer caught her breath, completely cried out.<p>

"What happened?" There was a long silence, until Spencer said in a shaky breath:

"Toby took the ring back."

"Aww..sweetie." Aria looked down at the indentation of where her ring used to be. She raked her mind for something to say, but came up with nothing. The only thing she could do right now was be there. They stayed on the couch until Spencer started to drift off to sleep. She heard Aria's last words just as she was slipping under.

"If he's the right one, he'll come back."

* * *

><p>"Morning!" Aria drawled out with as much cheer as she could muster. Her smile spread from eye-to-eye. Spencer scrunched her nose and wiped at the dried tears on her cheek. She could smell eggs and bacon.<p>

"I made you breakfast." Aria handed Spencer a plate and a cup of coffee. "It's extra strong." She nodded towards the black liquid.

"Thanks." Spencer's voice came out cracked. She took a look around. She was still on the couch. She saw a plate of cookies set on the coffee table in front of her. Aria watched her carefully.

"I made those after you fell asleep."

"How long have I been out?"

"Almost thirteen hours..." Spencer's eyes bulged. She grabbed her head.

"God, I feel like I drank last night." Her head pounded.

"Well, you cried out all the liquid in you. You're dehydrated. I'm tempted to take you to get an I.V." Aria breathed out a laugh. She rested her hand on Spencer's shoulder. "How are you?"

The memories of last night came flooding back. She glanced down at her bare hand. Aria squeezed her shoulder and she felt a sob building in the pit of her stomach. Where would she go from here? He said he wasn't going to wait for her. A ripping feeling tore into her chest. When he was here Emily somehow flitted into her mind, but now that he was gone he was all she could think about. Aria began to rub her hand softly up and down Spencer's arm. This would pass. Aria convinced herself of it; she just had to convince Spencer.

"Want to talk about it?" Spencer shook her head. After a moment she looked at Aria's understanding eye's.

"I did something unforgivable. I pretty much admitted that I wasn't committed. But I am. It was just a brief moment of indiscretion. I was only trying to be honest and fair with him." She was out of breath and another sob shook her body.

"Honey, you don't need to explain yourself. You two will get through this." Spencer forced a small smile. She wasn't as certain as Aria. What she did was unforgivable.

Spencer woke to Aria shaking her arm. The sun hit her eyes perfectly and she groaned. Soft fabric slammed into her face and filled her nose with the smell of detergent. She sat up and looked at the clothes that fell into her lap. Aria smiled and handed her a pair of shoes.

"We are going for ice cream. Get dressed." She turned and walked away, leaving no room for argument. Spencer grunted and dragged herself to the bathroom. She looked into the mirror and didn't recognize the face she saw. There were red circles around her puffy eyes. There was dried snot under her nose and her hair was facing every direction. She tried to swallow but couldn't. She stuck her tongue out and cringed at the sight of the pale object that was white instead of flesh-pink. She curled her tongue a bit and noticed cracks form. Her breath bounced off the mirror, fogging it, and returned to her nose. She squinted at the rank.

Aria was tidying up the couch and Spencer's half eaten breakfast when she heard a muffled voice call from the bathroom.

"Aria I can't go out like this!"

She sighed and walked up to the bathroom door. Spencer heard a thud and then Aria's reply.

"Then you're not leaving this bathroom until you are presentable." Spencer tried the door knob to no avail.

"What the hell did you do?" Frustration obviously in her voice.

Aria walked away humming, a smug smile plastered on her face.

* * *

><p>Aria and Spencer stumbled into Spencer's apartment. They spent over an hour just walking around enjoying their ice-cream. Few words were exchanged and Spencer was thankful for her friend. She placed her phone on the counter and her heart sank. Aria peered over her shoulder, noticing the sudden drop in the air. Spencer picked up Toby's spare key off the counter with shaking hands. Toby had come back to finish packing his stuff.<p>

"He's not coming back, Ar. I fucked up." All Aria could do was rub her back.

**AN: So how mean is Toby? **

**Thank you to all that follow! Please review!**


	9. Up In the Air

**AN: So sorry that this is late! I'd give my excuses but I'm sure you don't care and you're just happy its finally up. I also apologize that I made you wait so long for just a filler :(**

**However, it's another long one and ill have another posted by monday. That's right, only 4 days till the next post! Go ahead, you can say it: Yayness!**

**chxndelier: Thank you!**

**siophiefandom: That makes me so happy, you don't even know! Thanks:D**

**adreamer: Thanks a ton! I'm going for realistic haha;) And don't worry about your english, I can't even tell!**

**shamika: He was an ass wasn't he? You'll see how they deal;)**

**Thanks for all the follows and reviews. They give me hope haha. Let me know what you think. I need to know if its bad so that i can fix it. If you don't like the pace lemme know, i can fix that too;) **

**Anywho, enjoy!**

*one week later*

"Hey, Em. What's up?" Toby's voice was lifeless; drained of everything that was supposed to be; devoid of happiness. It was clear to Emily through the phone that the conversation wouldn't last long.

"Hey, Toby. I haven't heard from you in a while. Or Spencer. In fact, I haven't seen Aria either. Is something wrong?" She waited in awkward silence, listening to jagged breathing on the other end. She could sense that something was off. Hanna hadn't heard from any of them either. It was like they had been shut out; the light switch was turned off. In Spencer's absence, Emily was starting to drift back into the darkness. It had only been a week, and Emily felt the ramifications of not having Spencer by her side. She had it bad.

"Toby?..."

"Em, I'm trying to unpack my things right now; I'm kinda busy."

"Oh.., Well, um, Is everything ok?" She was met with more silence. "Toby, can you at least tell me if Spencer is still interested in our cabin plans? I don't know what I did wrong. I feel like I'm being shut out."

"Well you should talk to Spencer about that." He snapped, and hung up. Emily stared at her phone, distraught at how Toby had acted. What on earth did she do? He was the first person to answer her calls. He was her friend; he was always there for her. What happened? She thought about what he had said: he was unpacking his things. What things? Hadn't he already lived with Spencer? They moved. The thought dawned on Emily and it haunted her. She really must have screwed up, but what she had done was beyond her.

Toby picked up the last box and brought it into his apartment. He regretted his interaction with Emily, but he just wasn't ready. Spencer's words hung on his shoulder's like dead weight. He glanced at his phone as it lit up, a missed call from Emily. He noticed her voice mail, and deleted it without listening. He had ended up selling the ring in order to accommodate his new apartment; that way, he couldn't change his mind; he was done with Spencer. He had thought about simply skipping town, but couldn't. His life was here, at least what was left of it. His business was here. He stared at the phone in his hand. He swiped through one picture after another, recalling the memories that went with each one. He allowed on tear per picture that disappeared. He made no sound while he erased his memory of her. Those pictures were trash, just like her. He still loved her, that was undeniable; however, he knew now that she wasn't the one.

* * *

><p>Aria watched Spencer while she talked to her mother on the phone. Life had been absent in her eyes since that day. She was like a drone; completing mundane tasks with an expressionless face, computing rather than feeling. She had made it through one week of work, one week of hell. Aria's heart stung for the taller girl. She had never seen her so catatonic. Spencer's tendency to bury her feelings in work left no time for social interaction. Aria could tell that it was eating her. Her eyes had become hollow. Spencer hung up with her mom, gave Aria a sullen look, and headed for her study.<p>

"You have to tell her eventually." Spencer's mother was left in the dark. Spencer just couldn't bring herself to say those words.

"You can't keep shutting others out." Aria pleaded, she was losing her grip on Spencer. Spencer's eyes grew dark and stared hard at Aria. She ignored Aria and turned her back.

"Spence, I know how you feel-"

"No. You don't. When's the last time you had a boyfriend? Huh? When's the last time you almost got married to someone you loved, but then screwed the whole damn thing up?" She hadn't heard from Toby since that day. Not once. Not a call, not a text, nothing. A week is a long time to distance yourself, unless you intend it to be permanent.

"Ouch. Ok, yea, so I don't know exactly how you feel, but I know how others feel. Because

I'm one of them. You can't shut us out. You can't keep ignoring Emily. She has no idea what's going on; she thinks she did something wrong. I'm not answering any of her calls because I don't know what to say to her!" Aria was getting frantic. When on earth did their lives come to this? She felt like she was living life in constant utter shock. She knew Spencer inside and out and all of a sudden she felt helpless when it came to helping her.

"I can't speak to Emily." Spencer snarled, losing her patience. She couldn't help but blame her misery on Emily. If it weren't for her, none of this would have happened. She lost her future because of someone she met only a few short weeks ago. She didn't even know the girls favorite color. To hell with it. Emily was certain destruction; something she didn't need in her life.

"Spence, she didn't do anything wrong. Hanna is concerned too..."

"Who gives a shit, Aria? To hell with them." Aria stepped back, speechless at first.

"They are our friends."

"We barely know them! How can I spare a moment to think about someone who I just met when he is gone forever!" Spencer was fighting oncoming tears. Her throat was raspy and soar; it was the most she had spoken all week. It would be the first tears since the day he left. She stared, waiting for a response. Fire exploded behind her eyes, and she had to close them. This wasn't the moment to breakdown. The knot in the pit of her stomach tightened its grip, making it harder to breathe.

"I think the cabin trip will do you good."

"It would make it worse. If I have to look in her eyes..." She swallowed, "look in her eyes and see him..." She bit her tongue. Shit. Aria looked puzzled. "I mean, if...like, she's his friend, you know?" She held her breath, surveying Aria. When she saw her relax her shoulders she let her breath go. All the fight had gone from her voice.

"You need to, not just for your own good, but for theirs. You promised them a fun filled trip."

"Things change."

"I don't want to be a mom here, Spence, but you're going." She paused before adding, "For me." Spencer's fight left her body now too. She let the fire leak out, and the tears burned her cheeks. She nodded her head, and looked down defeated. Aria took her in her arms and held her like she did that fatal day, this time with promise.

Aria opened up a text to Emily and Hanna, and asked them to meet her at The Brew.

* * *

><p>Emily rushed to The Brew. She had Hanna on speed-dial, praying she'd pick up. She wasn't sure why she felt like this was so important, but she needed to know what was going on. She took a window seat without bothering to check the other tables. She stared out the window, willing Aria to arrive. Someone sat down across from her, causing her to jump.<p>

"Aria! Hey!"

"Hey, Em, I was sitting over there," She pointed to a table not far from the window, "You flew in and jumped to this seat." She chuckled. She took in Emily's frazzled state and her smile drooped.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's fine." Aria brushed it off. "So, we are still on for this trip, right?"

"I would think, but I haven't heard from you or Spencer..."

"Yes, sorry about that. It's," She entertained the thought of telling Emily. Her eyes were fixed everywhere except for Emily's intense stare. "I can't speak Spencer's words for her, but we are still on. Where's Hanna?" She decided to let Spencer decide who would know and when.

"I have no idea." Emily pondered. "Is Spencer ok?"

"She will be." Aria flashed a reassuring smile. They sat in silence, watching people out on the street, neither knowing what to say. Emily felt relief wash over her. She had begun to panic, thinking maybe Spencer knew how she felt. Maybe Spencer had rejected her. She creased her eyebrows, watching a kid struggle to walk a dog. She felt like that was the symbol of her life. She was being dragged by something more powerful than her. She was never standing on two feet or on solid ground. She was chained to her struggle, held prisoner by it. She could let go, but that would mean letting go of something she loved. It was a battle, neither side seeming to win. Not far behind the kid was his father, talking on his cell phone. The guardian angel. There to make sure nothing bad happened, but not really doing anything to help. Hanna. She was the guardian angel. She kept Emily on at least one foot, holding on to her chain.

"Well, I guess I'll see you this weekend then."

"I'm already packed!" Emily beamed. "You'll see me there. And Hanna too." Again, she thought of where Hanna could be. Maybe Hanna was the dog that didn't want to go on a walk; Emily had to drag her by a chain. She had let go of the chain and she needs to find her dog. She glanced at her phone; still no Hanna. Time to put out the 'lost dog' poster. She smiled to herself. Time to let go of the dog metaphor.

* * *

><p>Aria stopped at the store before heading back to Spencer's. She did a quick park job and ran straight to the dairy to get ice-cream for the taller girl. She was so focused she only saw a path to the chunky-monkey. She reached for the freezer handle and bumped hands with someone. Someone who was just as distracted as her. She looked up and her throat caught.<p>

"Toby."

He stared at her, his lips pursed and his back rigid. He glanced down at Arias hand. She held her wallet, phone, and keys. He recognized the extra key dangling from the keyring. Oh how quickly he had been replaced. She followed his stare. Spencer's spare key to her apartment laid on top of the others. He clenched his fists. Then his eyes widened.

"Are you...are you and her...?"

"What?"

"Never mind." He didn't want to know. Who cares who that 'girl' is, the one Spencer had claimed she 'didn't love'. He ripped open the freezer door and grabbed the last chunky-monkey. The door slammed in his wake. Aria pouted at the empty shelf. Moose Tracks it is.

Aria arrived at Spencer's and immediately went to the kitchen. She produced two spoons and offered one to Spencer.

"Em can't wait for this weekend." Spencer simply nodded. "I didn't tell her." This time she got no response. They ate in silence, watching the history channel. Not Aria's cup of tea, but for Spencer, it was her coffee.


	10. No Place Like the Woods

**I'm back...**

** in Black,**

** How sad...**

"Emily!" Aria singsonged her name. The sound reverberated through the quiet library. Emily giggled with excitement and shushed the short girl. She grabbed her duffel bag from under the counter and signed out, waving goodbye to her manager as she walked passed her office.

"Are you ready or what?" Arias smile stretched from ear to ear.

"I was born ready." They slipped into Spencer's white sleek Audi Q7. They had already picked up Hanna and were ready to go. It would be a three hour drive to the Lake House. Spencer pulled out her ipod and handed it to Aria.

"Pick whatever you want." Bowling for Soup's '1985' played through the speakers. Hanna rocked out in the back seat as they approached the ramp and got on the highway. Emily watched Spencer from the back seat. She noticed how Spencer's lips pursed ever so slightly as she attempted to switch lanes. She looked deep in thought when she was behind the wheel. Her hair cascaded down her shoulder. She watched Spencer reach up and skim the dip in her neck to brush a few strands aside. She looked at the rear-view mirror and caught Spencer's lingering look. She quickly averted her eyes and felt blood rush to her cheeks. Resting her head against the window, she closed her eyes.

Her head bounced off the window and she jerked back. They had entered a dirt drive, and trees surrounded them. Aria rolled her window down and the smell of pine filled the car. Spencer turned the volume off and they listened to the birds sing.

"This is beautiful." Hanna breathed. Spencer looked into the rear-view mirror to try and gage Emily's reaction. She was looking out of her window, which was now open. She had her hand out the window and a faint smile played on her lips. Spencer pulled up next to the house and parked. She slowly breathed out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Coming up here had made her nervous; she didn't know what the weekend would bring. She popped the trunk and helped Hanna get the bags out. Emily followed Aria towards the front porch. Aria lifted up a stone to get the spare key. The two walked in to the kitchen.

"Theres only three bedrooms; the fourth is being renovated." Spencer stood in the doorway with the bags. They exchanged glances before Hanna spoke up.

"Em and I can sleep together; wouldn't be the first time."

Aria grabbed her bag out of Spencer's hand and showed Emily and Hanna to one of the guest rooms before putting her stuff into the other guest room. Spencer lugged her stuff into the master bedroom and flopped on the bed.

"Spence! We're going swimming!" She heard the back door slam and sighed. After digging through her bag for a bathing suit, she stopped in front of the mirror and took a deep breath. She reminded herself to look happy and opened the door. She took a step back, surprised, and opened her mouth.

"I thought you were going swimming."

"I wanted to make sure you were alright." Emily looked skeptical at Spencer before softening her features. Spencer stared into her eyes, waiting to see him; to be reminded of him. But she only saw Emily. For the first time since that night she let herself feel warm. For the first time since that night she let Toby slip from her mind. She returned Emily's soft smile and led her to the back door. They walked down to the dock together without saying a word. Aria was sitting with her toes in the water and Hanna was floating on her back. Emily looked at Spencer while she was taking off her shorts and laid her towel down. A mischievous grin stretched out on her lips. She lunged forward and pushed Spencer off the dock. The thinner girl yelped and splashed hard. She surfaced and growled at Emily. Looking down at her chest, she whimpered.

"Come on, Em! This was the only tank top I brought."

"It'll dry." Emily smirked. She took off her own t-shirt and executed a perfect dive into the refreshing water. Aria sighed, throwing her head back and feeling the sun hit her face. She was hoping this would help Spencer, and already she saw the first genuine smile on her face.

As it was getting dark the girls headed inside. Hanna called dibs on the first shower and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

"Shall I cook us something?" Aria opened up a cabinet in the kitchen and pulled down some mac'n'cheese. She held the box up in the air and jiggled it.

"I'm not hungry." Spencer walked over to the floor to ceiling fireplace. The wall that it was on was all stone. She put two new logs on and started a fire.

"I'll split the box with you." Emily found a pot and filled it with water. Just as the water started to boil she heard the porch door swing closed. Spencer wasn't by the fire anymore and Hanna's shower was still running.

"I'm gonna go see if she's ok." Emily put on her sneakers and ran out the door. She waited for her eyes to adjust and she saw Spencer disappearing into the woods. She followed her at a distance for about a mile. Spencer's pace was quickened. She stopped abruptly.

"He left me, Em." Emily stared at her back, wondering how she knew that it was her.

"What do you mean?"

"He left. He took the ring, packed up his stuff, and hasn't talked to me since."

Emily remembered Toby telling her that he was unpacking his stuff, and his bitter tone towards Spencer.

"Oh." It sunk in. Spencer turned around. Her eyes were like stone, and they glowed in the moonlight.

"You needed to know. Have you talked to him recently?"

"Once. He was short with me." Spencer's gut burned. Toby couldn't possibly know that Emily was the girl that stole Spencer's attention. She felt so bad; Emily was wrongly placed in the middle of this mess. If he knew, he wouldn't ever talk to Emily again; Both Emily and Toby would lose a friend, neither of them deserved it, and it was all her fault. Guilt stabbed her right in the chest. Her heart ached for both of them. Emily managed to soften Spencer's harsh eyes. She could see that Spencer was just hiding under a facade.

"Why don't we continue walking?" Emily tried to get Spencer's mind off of Toby.

"There's actually a nice bank right over here. I like to come here when I need to think." Spencer helped Emily step down onto the rocks. Water splashed lightly against the edges and coated there feet. They sat down where it was dry and looked at the glimmer shining in the water. Every now and then a cold breeze sent chills down the girls' spines. They sat in silence, listening to the light splashes. An owl's screech cut through the air and the girl's looked up. Emily glanced at Spencer; she was still looking up into the sky. She reached over and grabbed her hand.

* * *

><p>Toby knocked on Spencer's door. His heart hadn't loosened it's grip yet. He figured the only way to get it to relax was to talk to her. His anger died down a little, and he felt like he should be the adult he was raised to be, and end the relationship on good terms. His last words couldn't be what they stood to be. After he got no answer, he tried calling. He got her voicemail. He stood in front of her door, thinking about where she could be, and finally he remembered her talking about the lake-house. He jogged down to his car and got on the highway.<p>

Spencer looked into Emily's eyes and squeezed her hand. Her heart swelled a little at the contact, and she realized that this is where she needs to be. If she had really loved him, She would never have fallen for Emily. She didn't just fall, she crashed, and it had never been so easy.

"I've never told anyone why we broke up." Emily watched her eyes; they seemed to sparkle in this light. In that instant her eyes made her look so much older, as if they had been through so much more than the rest of her had. Emily felt like she was looking into a mirror. She encouraged her to go on, giving her a reassuring squeeze. Spencer swallowed the lump in her throat. She was getting ahead of herself.

"Are you over her?" Emily scrunched her eyebrows. She thought of her high school sweetie for the first time in days.

"I think so." Spencer's smile never felt so natural. Maybe she needed Emily to help her forget about him. She rested her head on Emily's shoulder and watched the stars. Emily matched her breathing to Spencer's and closed her eyes, enjoying the way Spencer's cheek burned her bare shoulder.

"I hate to say this, but we should probably get back." Spencer helped Emily get out of the bank. Her foot slipped and she grabbed Spencer's wrist. They chuckled, neither fully understanding what was so funny. They walked hand in hand all the way back to the house.

* * *

><p>Toby parked next to the white Audi and slammed his car door shut. He walked over to the dimly lit porch, checking his watch for the time.<p>

* * *

><p>Emily and Spencer stumbled into the kitchen, erupting into another giggling fit, filling the quiet house.<p>

"Your mac'n'cheese is cold." Spencer frowned. "I'll make you something better." She flashed a sultry smile before turning the oven on and searching the fridge for food. Emily found the couch and laid down. They heard a door shut and saw Toby walk into the kitchen.

"Spencer."

"Toby!" Spencer gasped, dropping the carton of milk in her hand.

"We need to talk."

"I can't do this right now."

Emily fidgeted in the silence that ensued. With perfect timing, her phone buzzed, saving her from the awkward situation. She excused herself to the porch.

"Hello? Mom?"

_Honey, I hate to have to say this_, a choked sob sounded through the phone, _But Gram just passed away._

**Please Review!**


	11. The Aftermath

**AN: Hey! I feel like this ones a little shorter(But packed!), Sorry about it. I just had a little writers block and Im trying to study for mid-terms...so, yea. Enjoy!**

Her heart stopped beating altogether. The phone almost slipped from her weak fingers that had gone numb. A shiver crawled up her spine in the dead of night. Maybe she could have seen this coming, but she was too stubborn to acknowledge the condition in which her grandma had been. It started before the hospital visits.

"Honey, I'm so sorry." Another strained sound came through the phone.

"Mom..."

"We are at grandpas house."

"How is he?"

"Really shaken; would you come over?" Emily looked in through the window and watched Toby's rigid arms, tensing and then relaxing again. From her spot she couldn't see Spencer but she could only imagine how she felt.

"I'm spending the weekend at a lake house with some friends, I don't want to ruin it for all of us." She glanced at the car they drove down together in and silently decided to keep her grandmothers passing to herself. Spencer needed her now.

* * *

><p>"Toby, you can't just waltz back into my life like this!"<p>

"Spencer..." Her name rolled of his lips like it often did. "We just need to end this on good terms."

"I was the one trying to keep us on good terms, remember?" She was slowly loosing her cool. Milk slushed into her socks, reminding her of how incredibly uncomfortable she was. She glanced down and took a step back before reaching down to take her socks off, crinkling her face in disgust. Toby lunged forward, offering to help with the spilt milk. He caught her eye, and for first time in a long time she saw his resolve break. A single tear cascaded down his cheek. He had thought he was done crying over her, but somehow, in her presence, he couldn't help it.

"Don't cry over spilled milk." Spencer sneered, poking fun at him. This was her way of dealing with the pain. She finally felt as if she was healing, but seeing him again ripped open the wound. "You have no right, Toby. Not now. Just-" She took a deep breath, and finished with a much more broken voice, "Leave." The sound of defeat gave Toby hope. Dealing with a pissed off Spencer was impossible, but dealing with a broken Spencer was doable.

"Look, I just wanted us to agree: You're a great person, but we have gone our separate ways, and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think friends is an option here, but I'd like to think back on our two years as a well spent two years, rather than hear your name and be disgusted."

Spencer stared at her feet. As much as she wanted to hate him for coming here, he was such a good guy and she couldn't hate him. She never wanted to hurt him, but the way he had reacted was not like him. Of course, in the end, here he was: the best guy there could ever be. Toby stared at her, hoping for an answer. Finally, she looked up, and slowly nodded her head.

"Fine." He beamed at her and wrapped her up in his arms. He whispered in her ear;

"You're a smart woman, Spencer, I know you would never hurt me on purpose. Please, whoever she is, make it worth it." He pulled away with the softest smile he could muster. He noticed her lips twitch upward and felt like he was accomplished.

"Enjoy your life, Spencer." With that, he walked out to his truck and took off.

* * *

><p>Spencer found herself unable to move. She stared at the empty space before her, where he had just stood, and before him, where Emily had stood. His words echoed in her ears: <em>Make it worth it<em>. She walked out onto the front porch and glanced around. She noticed a figure on the dock. Tip-toeing down, she winced every time her bare feet connected with a pebble. She walked up behind Emily and sat down next to her. Silence enveloped them. Emily stared out onto the lake, watching the wind create little ripples.

"Deja-vu, huh?" Spencer nudged her and smirked.

"Kinda." Spencer searched for her eyes, noticing how her voice seemed far off.

"Hey, look at me." She grabbed Emily's chin and forced her to face her. "What's wrong."

For a moment Emily thought about telling her, but realized that she would insist that they go home.

"How are you..and Toby?" Spencer sighed. Emily could be stubborn, she was starting to understand that.

"Actually pretty good. It's all over. I won't see him again."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No. No, he was actually very calm about it. But, enough about me, what happened? What did your mother say?"

"I don't want to talk about it; just, hold me. Please." Spencer wrapped an arm around her shoulder and scooted closer. She began to rub slow circles on her arm. After a while, Emily's arm started to tingle where Spencer's fingers were, like little sparks.

"I like your name." She looked up at Spencer. Spencer scrunched her eyebrows and looked back.

"Do you know any other 'Spencer's'?"

"No, why?" Now Emily scrunched her eyebrows.

"It's just that people tend to like a particular name because they like that person. I guess not everyone though."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's everyone." Emily assured her, feeling all fuzzy inside and heat creeped up her neck. Spencer looked away to hide her own blush and bit her lip to prevent her inevitable smile. When she felt that her breath was stable, she looked back at Emily.

"You're name means 'striving, hard working'." She reached out and played with a raven colored lock of hair.

"How do you know that?"

"I looked it up, because I like your name." Spencer felt the blood immediately return to her face. She watched as Emily slowly understood the meaning of her words. They watched the lake again, sitting in comfortable silence, until Spencer remembered something.

"You still need to eat."

"That's fine, I sorta lost my appetite."

"No, no excuses. I'm making you something." She tugged on Emily's arm and dragged her towards the house. Spencer quickly finished cleaning the milk and went to turn on the oven.

"Shit. I left the oven on." She went to the freezer and pulled out chicken patties. She put a pot on the stove and boiled water for linguini. There was still no sign of Aria or Hanna in the house; she figured they went to bed.

"You can sleep with me tonight so you don't wake Hanna up." Emily nodded her head and moved closer to Spencer. When she turned around she almost hit Emily in the face. Letting out a quiet gasp, she put her hand on the counter behind her to balance herself. Emily placed her hand on top of hers and giggled lightly. She felt Spencer tighten up and she glanced at her lips. Spencer's heart jumped and her eyes fluttered to Emily's lips and back up to her eyes. All of a sudden the lights shut off and Spencer let out a small shriek.

"Oh! I'm sorry I thought you all went to bed already. I saw the light on." Aria flicked the lights back on and rounded the corner to see Emily sitting on a stool and Spencer looking like a dear in headlights with her hand over her heart.

"Aw, honey, I didn't mean to scare ya" Aria held back a laugh.

"Don't worry, we were just gonna eat and then go to bed." Emily smiled and gestured to their food in the making. Aria nodded and hurried back to her room. Spencer caught her breath and glanced at Emily, but couldn't hold the taller girls eyes for long, and turned her attention back to the food on the stove. For some reason she felt incredibly embarrassed.

* * *

><p>Spencer slowly opened her eyes and felt someone next to her stir. Her head slowly moved up and down as she listened to a beat. She looked up at the swimmer's angled chin. Her arm was resting over her stomach and their legs were intertwined. She had her head nestled into the crook of Emily's arm, slightly on her chest. Heat rushed into her cheeks and all of sudden she was aware of how close they were. She looked over Emily and at the clock; it was just before eight. Just then, Emily turned her head towards her and it fit perfectly on top of Spencer's head. She had never felt so safe. As Emily breathed, Spencer could feel her ribs underneath her fingers. Slowly, she moved her fingers lightly across Emily's skin, feeling the curve of her hips. Her skin felt like velvet, and it was addictive. Spencer felt the need to run her fingers over the smooth skin and let her own skin vibe under the friction she created. She moved her fingertips in a slow, lingering circle, ghosting over her hips.<p>

"Mmmh, that feels nice." Emily breathed out. Spencer immediately recoiled her arm, and Emily leaned back to look down at her quizzically. Her eyes started a fire in the pit of Spencer's stomach. She looked away in shame.

"Sorry." She mumbled, burying her face in Emily's neck. She felt the taller girls body jerk a little and she could tell she was laughing at her. Emily felt Spencer smile against her neck, and it released the butterflies in her stomach. Spencer slowly moved away and untangled her legs to cool her heated self off.

"I should go make us breakfast."

"I'm ok with staying here a little longer." Spencer's stomach leapt into her throat and she looked everywhere except her eyes. As much as she wanted to stay, her feelings were making her way too anxious.

"Ok. I'll bring breakfast to you." Emily smiled to herself as she watched Spencer close the door behind her. Spencer was way too cute when she was frazzled. She sighed and made her way to the bathroom; maybe she could find an excuse to sleep in here again tonight.


	12. Breathe Again

**AN: Yikes..Sorry about another late one. I had midterms and I started a creative writing class that I got some assignments for. Considering they were grades, thats whats been taking my time. **

**Anyways, thanks sooo much for the reviews! They make my day:) This is a short one for such a long wait, but I don't think you'll be disappointed.**

It had been locked up in her mind. It wouldn't become real until she got home and saw black. For now, she would smile and nod, and focus on the beginnings of a hopeful weekend. Emily watched Spencer as she scurried around the kitchen, making them breakfast. She could hear Hanna snoring from all the way down the hall, and assumed Aria was still sleeping as well. She noticed a few short strands of hair sticking to the back of Spencer's neck that didn't fit in the bun. A shiver ran through her whole body as she remembered the sensation of having Spencer so close to her. She opened her mouth to say something when Aria walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning." Aria yawned. Spencer relaxed her shoulders at the shorter girls presence. She had felt Emily's eyes on her back whilst she cooked, and couldn't shake the nervous feeling bottled up inside of her. It's a magical feeling, hard to explain. The idea of new romance scared her, and ignited her at the same time. Now, there was nothing holding her back.

"Eggs? Awesome, I love you Spence!" Aria sat down next to Emily and settled her eyes on Spencer.

"So, um, what time did you get back in last night?" She asked, nervously picking at her nail. Spencer narrowed her eyes.

"Not too late. I talked to him, we're on good terms. Em knows what's up" Aria let out a breath, thankful that they didn't have to beat around the bush with Emily.

"Good, are you back tog-"

"No." Spencer slapped the spatula on the counter, feeling defensive. Thankfully, Aria backed off. Spencer placed two plates in front of Emily and Aria and managed a smile.

"Orange juice?" Both girls nodded and Spencer quickly filled two glasses as Hanna trudged into the kitchen, her eyes still droopy. Spencer chuckled at her and broke four more eggs.

"Good, I was just about to make more."

* * *

><p>Spencer peered over her book at Emily. Aria and Hanna decided to go for a walk and talk about boys, both of them acting like school girls. Spencer had chuckled at them, and then realized that <em>she<em> felt like a school girl. It had been a while since she felt her stomach do flips, which now happened every time she looked at Emily. It's funny just how fast she learned to love the girl, like having Toby around was the only chain holding her back. Emily had her eyes closed while she listened to music that leaked out of her headphones. Every now and then she could see the words dance across Emily's face. She felt like the lyrics were seeping into her own mind, speaking to her. This girl in front of her was different from any other person she had ever met before, and she had a burning desire to get to know her better. Yes, she was rather appealing to the eye; her hair cascaded down her shoulder in perfect waves, her eyes had the deepest glimmer in them, and her smile took Spencer's breath away. But what Spencer was most interested in was her mind. When Emily smiled, Spencer smiled. One thing that was new to her, though, was her laugh. Spencer had never found a laugh as an attraction point, but when Emily laughed, it was like the world slowed down. When Emily laughed, Spencer didn't laugh; she leaned back and just soaked in the sound admiringly. It was weird, but she wanted to hear her really laugh, as in gut busting laugh with tears running down her face. The sound was like a drug to Spencer, and she wanted more of it, a stronger dose. Another attraction point that drew her in was the tendons in her neck. They seemed to go in and out, perfectly shaping her neck and collar bone; they were so enticing. Spencer closed her eyes and let her mind go to places it shouldn't. She imagined what it would feel like to run her hand up her back, tracing her shoulder blades, and what it would sound like to hear a heavy breath escape her lips. She stopped herself before her thoughts got too far and got her worked up. God damn lust; it's the sweetest and coldest thing at the same time.

"Wanna do something?" Spencer's ears perked up at her voice.

"Like what?" Emily thought for a moment.

"How about...a walk? Maybe we can catch up to Aria and Hanna." Spencer nodded her head in agreement. Stepping onto the path Aria and Hanna had taken earlier, Spencer set the pace at a crawl, not really wanting to catch up with the other two. She walked closely next to Emily, hoping for a hand bump every now and then.

"So I feel like I've known you for a while, but I don't actually know you that well."

"Really. What do you want to know?" Spencer rolled the syllables off her tongue.

"Let me think." They continued down the path in silence until Spencer started to feel uncomfortable.

"I think that's enough time for thinking. I'm afraid of what the question will be." She chuckled. Emily nudged her and dragged her forward.

"Tell me all about your childhood."

"Wow thats a big leap." Emily smiled and attempted to pull her best puppy eyes. "There's a lot to cover." Spencer groaned.

"Just tell me something."

"Ok. Let's see. I used to pop balloons behind my sister's head because balloons scared the heck out of her and it was hilarious to watch her freak. But, she would always get back at me by pouring cold water on me when I was in the shower."

"Aww...sweetie. Did you get frostbite?" Emily teased, and she received a light shove.

"No. But my toes were pretty damn froze." Their laughter bounced off the trees around them and returned to their ears, resonating there. Emily turned to her and stopped.

"Really? It wasn't cold...here?" Her voice lowered an octave as she traced Spencer's collar bone lightly, and slowly lifted her pointer finger off of her skin with a flick. Spencer shivered at the touch and found herself unable to swallow.

"We need to talk." She said abruptly. Emily raised an eyebrow, and then lips were pressed against hers. A hand found her shoulder and softened the kiss. Warm breath bounced off her nose and then her lips as Spencer pulled away. She blinked, shocked at the sudden action. If Spencer was going for surprise, she succeeded. Emily had been egging her on, but she didn't anticipate it to actually work, and if it did, she expected hesitation.

"I guess you're hinging on actions speak louder than words." She breathed out.

"Kinda. God, that was such a stupid move." Spencer ran her hand through her hair and then buried her face in her palms. She could feel Emily's stare beating into her. Her heart was blocking her throat, drying out in anticipation. Emily slowly reached up and guided Spencer's wrists away from her face.

"But do you regret it?" When Spencer didn't answer she leaned in close. She breathed lightly on her lips, wanting her to seal the kiss. Spencer couldn't resist. She captured Emily's lips for a second time. This time, she took the time to notice how soft and warm her lips were. She pulled back slightly and just breathed Emily in. A smile played out on her lips and she leaned in for one more short peck, just testing the waters.

"No. I don't." Emily let go of her wrists and searched her eyes for more words, but she seemed jumpy.

"I..should take a walk. I need one. I... Ok. Bye." She was gone before Emily could react. The tingle remained on her lips, and Spencer's presence lingered. She sighed, and decided not to go after her.

"Nice talk. I wouldn't mind having another sometime." She whispered to herself, before proceeding back to the cabin.

**AN: Finally! The moment we've all been waiting for! Tell me what you think;)**


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